using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
