RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
