normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
