i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
