using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
