Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Boobs are out for the taking
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
