I'm jealous of your bromance
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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