Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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