I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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