We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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