got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
