Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
