I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
