i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
