it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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