I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
