he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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