so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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