Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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