We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
