I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
