I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
