Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
