What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
