i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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