Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
