You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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