But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
