This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
