I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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