just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
