TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
