you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
