hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
