at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
