now i know why i became what i already was.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
