At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
