you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
