She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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