where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
