But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
This girl is more easily done than said...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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