are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
