So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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