I cockslap morals
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
