I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
