Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
