He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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