Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
