dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
