he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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