This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
