don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
