I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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