I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
