Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I know her cup size but not her name....
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize