he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
