Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Randomize
