i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
this hospital has no fireball
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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