Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
