btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
