all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
