You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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